The Washington Foreskins
I think all sports fans will get a kick out of this letter written to the Chicago Tribune.... Enjoy!
No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins, this is funny. This guy is hilarious!
Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.
Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly jilted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children. The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.
As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers" (especially when they play Southern California). Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the "Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Washington DC.
When it is acceptable to use the "F" word, from ...
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“This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection that causes me a lot of pain and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?”
“Just a minute, I’ll go talk to my sister.” When she returns, she says, “The best we can offer is one-third-ownership in the store and five thousand a month in living expenses.”
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You can kill me. But please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must really love your wife!”
Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.
There is this old couple who could no longer care for themselves so they join an assisted living center
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"I sat next to you for years and we did the same exact thing with your hand on my lap and mine on yours and now you are doing the same thing with that woman that you used to do with me. What does she have that I don't have?" she asked.
"Simple dear," he replied
"Parkinson's!"
So with the News covered, the coveted lead off spot goes to a guy who since retirement has really stepped up sending me good jokes, I am talking about ...
This is a great joke that you might have heard before...
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She looked up at the patiently waiting men and trying to be cool about her bad game said, “I guess all those fucking lessons I took over the winter didn’t help.”
One of the men immediately responded, “Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!”
and they view him as the...
First of all, best wishes for a speedy recovery to Billy Bong who is undergoing treatments for a
blood disorder. The prognosis is good, and hopefully he will be back in top shape for the start of golf season and his planned retirement in April, 2020. He again demonstrates the reason that you should not put off doing the things you want to. Shit will happen to all of us, so go for the gusto while you can. We are all pulling for you Billy, and we know that you will join us for Vegas 28 in the fall.
The Czar of The Cigar has ended his shiva for father in law, Joe. And he is off to his Florida condo this week. Wish him a safe drive and lots of fun in the sun for the next 3 or 4 months.
Chivalrous Ken's wife had a bit of a scare at home requiring a trip to the ER, but after a few days
of observation, she is back on track for more treatment. Sure hope she responds and can get that
bone marrow transplant to be brought back to good health.
And this is the last Update until Dec. 31, 2019. Will be in Cabo for 2 weeks and I am really looking forward to the friendly place we stay, warm weather, time with Platinum Tarks and wife for 1 week and DrJ and family and MBArry for the second week. You will have to struggle on without your weekly dose of mirth and merriment until I get back.
And what else is going on? Let's check out the News...
Well, most of them.
Take care of yourself for the next few weeks.
The Chairman will return on December 31 with a Dog Update.
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When is the “F” Word acceptable?
Question: When is the use of “@#$%" or "@#$%ing" acceptable?
Answer: There are only 11 times throughout history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use...
In ASCENDING order, those exclamations were:
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10. "What the @#$% was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima , 1945
9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" George Custer, 1877
8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." Albert Einstein, 1938.
7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" Picasso, 1926
6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?" Pythagoras, 126 BC.
5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" Michelangelo, 1566.
4. "Where the @#$% are we?" Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw, come on Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?" Bill Clinton, 1998
"AND THE WINNER IS...
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Senior citizen joke...
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So that's all for this week's Update of Jokes From Shaf, and we will be off for vacation until the next Update on December 31, 2019...
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