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December  12, 2017

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Jokes From Shaf

Jokes From Shaf is a cooperative humor website. We take the best of reader submissionsto go along with the best humor our staff (me) finds and publishes 

updates ONCE a week every Tuesday.

Send your submissions to me via email at this below link


and if you make the grade, you will see your joke, picture or video on Jokes From Shaf. 

Submit often and you will get a nickname and a place in our Hall of Fame.

Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen lived next door to each other for over 40 years, and over the years became loving friends. One day Mrs. Murphy came to Mrs. Cohen and said, "This house is becoming to much for us, let's sell it and each move into a home for the aged.

Each went to a home of their respective religions, and were soon placed. Mrs. Murphy felt very lonesome for Mrs. Cohen, and one day asked to be driven to the Jewish Home to visit her old friend Mrs. Cohen. 

When she arrived she was greeted with open arms, hugs and kisses. Mrs. Murphy said "So how do you like it here."

Mrs. Cohen went on and on about the wonderful food, the facility and the care takers. She then said, "You know the best thing is that I now have a boyfriend."

Mrs. Murphy said, "Now isn't that wonderful. Tell me what you do."

Mrs. Cohen said, "After lunch we go up to my room, and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on the top, and then on the bottom, and then we sing Jewish songs."

Mrs. Cohen said, "And how is it with you Mrs. Murphy?"

She said it was also wonderful at her new facility, and that she also had a boyfriend.

Mrs. Cohen said, "So what do you do?"

"We also go up to my room after lunch and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on top, and then I let him touch me down below."

Mrs. Cohen said, "And then what do you do?"

Mrs. Murphy said, "Since we don't know any Jewish songs, we fuck."

and how to make a pimped out Chanukah bush...

A look at some of the best Jewish Stand-Up comics every week on the 

Jewish Jokes Page, so take a listen as The Chairman brings you this

weeks Kosher laugh fest...

Thomas Andrew Lehrer was bornin 1928 to a Jewish family in New York's Upper East Side. Although he was raised Jewish, Lehrer was a declared agnostic. He began studying classical piano at age seven but was more interested in the popular music of the age. Even as a child, he

began writhing show tunes which helped him as a satirical composer and writer in his years of lecturing at Harvard University.

Lehrer was considered a child prodigy and entered Harvard at the age of 15. He studied mathematics there and wrote comic songs to entertain his fellow students. He remained at 

Harvard to get his doctorate, taking time out for his musical career and to work at Los Alamos.

He was drafted into the Army and served as an enlisted soldier.

After his military service, Lehrer returned to finish his studies at Harvard, but never finished his

mathematical dissertation on statistics. He taught Political Science at MIT and then joined the 

faculty at the University of California, Santa Cruz, teaching introductory math and musical 


His musical career was influenced by musical theater, with a style of parodying popular songs.

He toured until 1960 when he joined a satirical TV show, "That Was The Week That Was" as the resident songwriter. It was there that he wrote the song, "The Vatican Rag', which pokes fun

at the Second Vatican Council...

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And here is a Jewish Joke you may not have heard, from my number one source for jokes-Jewish

or otherwise,                                                                               ...

He gave up touring stating the he was bored playing the same songs night after night.

Although his musical career was brief, and he only performed 100 shows and wrote 37 songs, 

he was credited by many, including Randy Newman, as being one of "the great American songwriters". 

And today's Jewish Joke of the Day is from your host...

With all the submissions The Chairman gets each day, this topic is the most popular.
With this in mind, we now have a category which features "The Jewish Joke of The Day".

                    December 5, 2017