Jokes From Shaf

                  September  21, 2021

Jokes From Shaf is a cooperative humor website. We take the best of reader submissions to go along with the best humor our staff (me) finds and publishes updates ONCE a week every Tuesday.


Send your submissions to me via email at this below link-Email: 

jokes@jokesfromshaf.com

and if you make the grade, you will see your joke, picture or video on Jokes From Shaf. 


Submit often and you will get a nickname and a place in our Hall of Fame.


September 21,  2021


Update 1062



Next Update-

September  282021 


Norm  MacDonald  Update



​                 


And today's Jewish Joke is a really good one from                                                                                             ...

A look at some of the best Jewish Stand-Up comics every week on the 

Jewish Jokes Page, so take a listen as The Chairman brings you this

weeks Kosher laugh fest...

With all the submissions The Chairman gets each day, this topic is the most popular.
With this in mind, we now have a category which features "The Jewish Joke of The Day".

All men owe a debt to a Jew of Polish origin, Paris fashion designer, Jacques Heim, who was the originator of the bikini...


A bikini is a women's two-piece swimsuit featuring two triangles of fabric on top that cover the woman's breasts, and two triangles of fabric on the bottom: the front covering the pelvis but exposing the navel, and the back covering the buttocks. The size of the top and bottom can vary, from bikinis that offer full coverage of the breasts, pelvis, and buttocks, to more revealing designs with a thong or G-string bottom that covers only the mons pubis, but exposes the buttocks, and a top that covers little more than the areolae.

In May 1946, Parisian fashion designer Jacques Heim, a Jew of Polish origin,  released a two-piece swimsuit design that he named the Atome ('Atom') and advertised as "the smallest swimsuit in the world". Like swimsuits of the era, it covered the wearer's navel, and it failed to attract much attention. Clothing designer Louis Réard introduced his new, smaller design in July. He named the swimsuit after the Bikini Atoll, where the first public test of a nuclear bomb had taken place only four days before. His skimpy design was risqué, exposing the wearer's navel and much of her buttocks. No runway model would wear it, so he hired a nude dancer from the Casino de Paris named Micheline Bernardini to model it at a review of swimsuit fashions.

Due to its revealing design, the bikini was considered controversial, facing opposition from a number of groups and being accepted only very slowly by the general public. In many countries, the design was banned from beaches and other public places: in 1949, France banned the bikini from being worn on its coastlines; Germany banned the bikini from public swimming pools until the 1970s, and some communist groups condemned the bikini as a "capitalist decadence". The bikini also faced criticism from some feminists, who reviled it as a garment designed to suit men's tastes, and not those of women. Despite this backlash, however, the bikini still sold well throughout the early to later 20th century, albeit discreetly.

The bikini gained increased exposure and acceptance as film stars like Brigitte Bardot, Raquel Welch, and Ursula Andress wore them and were photographed on public beaches and seen in film. The minimalist bikini design became common in most Western countries by the mid 1960s as both swimwear and underwear. By the late 20th century, it was widely used as sportswear in beach volleyball and bodybuilding. There are a number of modern stylistic variations of the design used for marketing purposes and as industry classifications, including monokini, microkini, tankini, trikini, pubikini, and skirtini. A man's single piece brief swimsuit may also be called a bikini. Similarly, a variety of men's and women's underwear types are described as bikini underwear. The bikini has gradually gained wide acceptance in Western society. By the early 2000s, bikinis had become a US$811 million business annually, and boosted spin off services such as bikini waxing and sun tanning.


And with today's BAYWATCH UPDATE, here are some hot Jewish girls in bikinis...


Subject: Software update

INSTALLING A JEWISH HUSBAND


Dear Tech Support , 
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: 
· Romance 9.5 and 


· Personal Attention 6.5, 


and then installed undesirable programs such as : 


· NBA 5..0, 


· NFL 3.0 and 


· Golf Clubs 4..1 .. 


Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system. 


· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 


What can I do? 
Signed, 
Desperate. 




DEAR DESPERATE 


First, keep in mind, 


· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while 
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system. 


Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.. 


· If that application works as designed , Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 


However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .. 


· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. 


Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 


In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.. We recommend 


· Cooking 3.0 and 


· Hot Lingerie 7.7. 



Good Luck! 
Tech Support