Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.
Richard Lewis
My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking Canada.
David Steinberg
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.
Mel Brooks
The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish.
Jules Farber
Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.
Lenny Bruce
God, I know we are your chosen people, but couldn't you choose somebody else for a change?
Shalom Aleichem
The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Calvin Trillin
Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!
Golda Meir
Even a secret agent can't lie to a Jewish mother.
Peter Malkin
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
Benjamin Disreali I
t's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Sam Levenson
Don't be humble; you are not that great.
Golda Meir
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
Joe E. Lewis
Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors. A spoken contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Sam Goldwyn
Everybody likes a kidder but nobody loans him money.
Arthur Miller
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
Jackie Mason
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Woody Allen
Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx
A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
Oscar Levant
Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.
George Burns
Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.
Sam Goldwyn
Television is a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Ernie Kovacs
With the collapse of vaudeville, new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
When I bore people at a party, they think it is their fault.
Henry Kissinger
Cory Kahaney has appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and David Letterman. Other television appearances include CONAN, This Week at the Comedy Cellar, The View and The Late, Late Show. with Craig Ferguson. Cory was a grand finalist NBC’s Last Comic Standing and a semifinalist on America’s got Talent. She has comedy specials on Comedy Central and HBO. As a public speaker, Cory presented a Tedx called “The Joke that Saved my Life” chronicling her journey from domestic abuse to a comedy career. Other talks include: “Don’t tell Jerry Lewis women are funny”; a multimedia presentation of rare archival footage. It is a celebration of the brilliant pioneer comediennes, their triumphs, and sacrifices effectively paving the way for today’s women in standup comedy. Awards: voted best comedian in NYC by Backstage Magazine and Best female comedian by the Manhattan Association of Cabarets. Cory has also been featured numerous times at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal, the Johnny Carson Festival, The Halifax comedy Festival and every year at the Nantucket Comedy Festival.
Here is some of Cory Kahaney in stand up action...
Once again, this week's JEWISH JOKE is a from your host, with a whole bunch of Jewish Wisdom from a lot of famous people...
With all the submissions The Chairman gets each day, this topic is the most popular.
With this in mind, we now have a category which features "The Jewish Joke of The Day".
September 10, 2024
Jokes From Shaf
A look at some of the best Jewish Stand-Up comics every week on the
Jewish Jokes Page, so take a listen as The Chairman brings you this
weeks Kosher laugh fest...
Send your submissions to me via email at this below link-Email:
jokes@jokesfromshaf.com
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September 10, 2024
Update 1168
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September 17, 2024
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